We’ve all seen the quotes and memes like “you know when you were a kid and you cleaned your room but no one noticed? That’s basically what adulting is.” It’s the truth. We go through our lives day in and day out and it seems like there is plenty of judgement and criticism, but not enough recognition. That’s just being an adult right? We have to get up, get the kids breakfast, get a shower, go to work, work without expressing how much we hate it, be nice to people we can’t stand, come home, get the kids, take them to soccer, fix dinner (okay grab McD’s), clean the house, bathe kids, pay bills, do laundry, blah, blah, blah (one more if you got a husband) blah! It can get pretty mundane and we start to get complacent. Then we all get that curve ball thrown that we have to somehow find energy (and usually extra money) to deal with (taxes, flat tires, medical bill). Yep this adulting thing is pretty awesome. The only perk is we can stay up as late as we want and drink alcohol if we want.
I’m here to tell ‘ya, it’s time to fall in love (or at least court) adulting! I’ve said this before, but it’s so important to me, YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE – START LIVING IT ON YOUR TERMS.
1. Schedule Time for your Hobbies. I know, I know, how do you find more time when you have none as it is? Well we make time to shower everyday (most of us), we make time to take our kids to the doctor or dentist. You need to schedule time for what makes you happy. Something that serves no other purpose, but that it makes you happy. Even if it is one hour on the weekend or 15 minutes at the end of the day. Whether it’s reading, crocheting, cooking (man you’re lucky if that’s it ’cause I haven’t found the joy in that), whatever it is, schedule the time for it. Get used to saying “sorry, I can’t, I’ve got something else going on at the moment” and don’t feel bad about it!
2. Stop Complaining and Start Being Grateful. It’s so hard when you hate your job, your boyfriend just dumped you for a younger woman, your kid just dumped your expensive bubble bath out or ordered himself a $100 Nerf Gun on Amazon to not complain. But practice this. It’s like a muscle, the more you work it the stronger it will become. Try to find something to be grateful for, like the Nerf Gun is returnable 🙂 Be grateful that you found out your ex was a loser before you made the mistake of marrying him. Be grateful that you have a roof over your head and a brain in your head to find solutions for whatever problems you have. Just. Be. Grateful. When you show gratitude you attract good things to your life. I have theories as to why this happens, but I’ll save it for another post. In a nutshell it’s the Universe and a higher being.
3. Stay present. Focus on what you are doing at the moment and try to find happiness in that. Your kid is asking for another book at bedtime or one more drink. As you gently tell him that after the third book or the second drink mommy starts to turn into a monster, look at that little face and soak it up. Think about how this moment will be gone, tomorrow his little face will be one day older. When you are trying to teach your parents how to use their smart phones and your mom is not getting the concept of swiping (seriously it’s worse than teaching the computer “just let me do it!”), think of how some day you will wish you could get this moment back (again practice gratitude they are still here to drive you crazy).
4. Eat Right, Exercise and Get Some Sleep. Boooring! I know. But you feel so much better and have a more peaceful head-space when you are taking care of yourself. And I don’t mean you need to go Vegan or become a bikini model or marathon runner (good for you if you do though), I’m just saying go for a walk a few times a week. Cardio is one of the best forms of exercise for battling depression and anxiety (once you find the motivation to do it). You can get so much aggression out on a treadmill. Just try to make healthy food choices, take a walk and try to sleep at least 7 hours a night. Again, I understand we don’t have a lot of time to begin with. Make an appointment to do it and don’t blow it off. You are the last person you should be blowing off, because without you there is no you (Confucius – not really, but it’s deep).
5. Don’t Keep Up with the Joneses. Stop comparing your life to what other people are posting on Facebook about their lives. Everyone is struggling, but they don’t show you that. They make life look pretty easy peasy. They have the house, the boat, the cars, the kids that are graduating college and preschool all at the same time. As we click the like button on those posts we inevitably feel like we are failing because our kid is sticking ear buds up his nose and opening his mouth to show you that he is a human speaker. Or your ex from high school is celebrating their 20 year wedding anniversary and you’ve had not one, but two failed marriages. Everyone has their bag of problems. The thing is, you are all too aware of what your bag is full of, but you can’t see the bag they are lugging around. Focus on the good (I’m seeing a theme here…be grateful).
6. Give Yourself a Little Credit. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of how far you have come. Be proud of your accomplishments. Don’t cut yourself short. You are still kicking and when we know better we do better. Finish this sentence, “I’m proud of myself for….”. And do it regularly.
We hear enough about how we are failing or we say it to ourselves (see my post What I heard Myself Say and How I’m Changing it) we need to start falling in love with our lives. And hopefully after reading this you can Fall in Love with Adulting too.
What do you love most about adulting? I’d love to hear! And don’t forget to tic that little share button!